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my birthday party and made it part of her own personal
escape plan. We came to talk to you about the wolves.
There. I d said it. I d said it like they were real entities to
someone other than Grant since they shipped me off to
New York.
Rae took a step back, her eyes wide and her mouth
hanging open. She looked more like I d just slapped her
than if I d said the word wolves. The pug snorted at her
feet, and she scooped down to pick it up. She held it like a
chubby, wriggling shield between us. You mean you came
all the way up here she turned to look at Grant, to
talk about the wolves? Are you out of your freaking mind?
Her eyes filled with fire as she turned back around
toward me. I always knew you took those stupid stories
too far. I could see it on your face, even when you said you
didn t believe it. Rae shook her head, and the pug wiggled
with her. Crazy. I always knew you were crazy.
It felt like my lungs had collapsed in my chest when
she said that word, that word that kept me staring at the
ceiling every night. I gasped for air, clutching my stomach.
If Ella were here, the one that used to say more words than
she had breath for, she would step between us. She would
tell Rae to shove off and that her sister wasn t crazy and
that it didn t run in our family, or any of those other things
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people said about me. Then she d say that she never liked
her stupid spiky hair anyway, so there. But Ella wasn t here,
she hadn t been in a long time, and I was out of breath for
words.
Rae dropped the pug to the floor and took a step
forward. I tried to be your friend you know, get you to
lighten up, live a little. But all you cared about was draw-
ing your dress pictures and hovering over Ella like some
creepy stalker. Even your parents begged my mom to let
you come over to hang out because they thought you
needed to talk to someone your own age! Her lip curled
into a snarl, and my stomach lurched. She looked almost
like the wolf I d always seen in my mind: piercing eyes,
quivering lips, ready for blood. Rae continued, And what
did you freaking do? You tried to blame some wolf stories
I told you years ago on what you did to Ella. You were
always jealous of her. Rae slumped against the counter
now, but this time she looked different. Before when she d
answered the door, she seemed like she d been pumped full
of three-dimensional color: vibrant and bright and almost
trembling with confidence. But it was as if those words she
held inside of her had been powering her, keeping her lit
up like a Christmas tree inside, and now that she d finally
said them to me she was starting to fade and become
human again.
They weren t just stories, Rae. Ella left me a note. I
took a deep breath. She told me they re always watching,
that they re going to take her away. That s why we re here.
This is where Ella told us to come.
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Rae jerked her head up to look at me and the expres-
sion on her face caught me off guard. Her face wasn t furi-
ous, her mouth wasn t twisted in a sharp grin anymore.
She looked scared.
But in an instant, the fear drained from her face as she
turned to scoop up the dog again. I doubt it, she said,
only this time softer, less convinced. There s nothing up
here to find.
Grant opened his mouth to say something, but Rae
practically bolted out of the room, the pug tucked under
her arm, before he had a chance to say anything. He
turned to me instead. Let s get out of here, we re not get-
ting anywhere.
I glanced back into the kitchen, where Rae slumped
over the counter, absentmindedly twisting the stem of her
half-eaten apple. I think we need to stay a little longer, I
whispered. I think she knows something.
Grant nodded slowly, almost like he was afraid to
admit he d picked up on Rae s strange behavior too. He
sighed. Fine. But what excuse do we make up for having
to stay the night?
I looked out the window at the snow smothering the
streets, the lamp posts, the hood of the truck. I don t
think we need to make anything up. I took his hand in
mine.
Snowstorm.
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Rae wasn t happy when Grant insisted we d have to stay
until the snow cleared in the morning. At first, she tried
to convince us that it wasn t even that icy out, and that
the truck had four-wheel drive, so we should be fine. But
when she went out onto the back porch to let out the dog
and fell on her ass, she came back inside and grumbled,
Fine. You can stay in the craft room.
As it turns out, Rae and Grant s Aunt Deb their
mother s sister owned several of the houses on this tiny
block, and she rented them out for cheap. Rae had taken
over this one last year when she started working at the
Mobil down the street, and Aunt Deb shifted her things to
the remodeled house next door. Her craft room, however,
stayed.
I snuggled into Grant out of necessity it was freezing
at this end of the house, and the pull-out sofa was only a
double but I couldn t say I minded. We both curled into
lumpy, awkward sleeping bags that smelled like dust and
beef jerky, and the space heater gave off a lukewarm blast
of air from the corner. But somehow, as we peeked at each
other through the sleeping bag zippers, it was enough to
keep out the cold.
Hey, do you still have the wolf journal I got you for
your birthday? Grant whispered, tucking his nose into his
sweatshirt.
I nodded. Yeah, I have it.
You ever write in it?
I paused for a second and shifted my legs so that my
socks weren t tangled on the bottom zipper. No. I shifted
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onto my back and stared at a spider web crack in the ceil-
ing. I guess diary writing isn t my thing.
Grant wiggled in his sleeping bag so that he could
prop his head up in his hand. It could be your thing, if
you wanted it to be.
I turned to look at him. What do you mean?
It s just that, you re one of those people that can do
anything, if you want to, he breathed. You re kinda like
magic, Claire. He quickly cleared his throat. I just mean,
you you re one of those people that always makes me feel
better when you re around.
My head felt fuzzy, and the walls wobbled around me.
The only person who had ever been magic in Amble was
Ella. Maybe Grant had spent so much time thinking about
the wolves and Ella with me that he had started to confuse
me for her. Because I wasn t magic; I couldn t make the
stars bounce and everything look like it was drenched in
pink sunlight and make people feel like they were flying
just by listening to my laugh. Maybe I d hugged Ella hard
enough and hope that some of her light rubbed off on me.
I looked up at him. You really think that?
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