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her job, leaving out the part where she d embezzled money to pay for
Cece s care. They discussed their hopes and dreams. Cecelia was
afraid to look too far ahead. You never know what I ll be like next
week. I d hate to get used to being this aware, only to lose it again.
Leah couldn t think of anything in return that didn t sound
patronizing, so she settled for honesty. I hope you don t lose it again.
I ve missed you terribly.
The stifling air in the greenhouse chased them outside where a
breeze stirred the humidity.
Crimes of the Heart 137
We need to have a serious talk, Leah, Cecelia said. I need you
to listen to me without judging me and without interrupting. I know
that last part is hard for you.
Leah sat on a bench. The solemnity of Cece s demeanor put Leah
on edge. I m listening.
I got pregnant on purpose. Cecelia held up her hand. She knew
Leah had been about to say something. You promised.
Leah closed her mouth and silently indicated Cecelia should
continue.
I have always wanted children. I didn t understand the
implications of my action. I only thought about how badly I wanted to
be a mother. I know now that you would have had to raise any child I
had while I was like I was. I think I did it a little bit to get back at you.
I was jealous that I wasn t allowed to leave here unless I was with you
or Marian, and you had this whole life outside of here that I wasn t a
part of.
Leah hung her head. She didn t know how to respond.
I couldn t have handled that on my own, not like that. In a way, it
was a blessing because it made them stop the medication that kept me
like that. I want you to know that I wasn t raped. I seduced the father.
I very carefully planned it all. He didn t know that I was trying to get
pregnant. He didn t even know I was a patient here.
Is he a patient here? Leah couldn t help herself.
Cecelia s head tilted to the side in a reproving look. Leah, you
promised.
Sorry.
I m not going to reveal anything about him. He doesn t matter.
He doesn t even know. Cecelia looked over to Leah with tears in her
eyes. I still want those things, Leah. I don t want to spend the rest of
my life here. Maybe I ll never meet someone willing to put up with
all of my problems, but I think I still have something I can contribute
to society. I want to work. I want to live on my own. I want to control
my own life.
138 Debora Ryan
Bitterness curled Leah s stomach. She wanted those things, too,
for both of them. The weight on her shoulders increased tenfold. Now
she not only had to find the money to pay for all of the testing and
new medication combinations, but she had to find a way to help
Cecelia become independent. Visions of a modified apartment and a
never-ending line of helpers and specialists danced through Leah s
imagination. She managed to keep herself together until Cecelia
pleaded extreme tiredness around three o clock.
I m not on the medicine that made my hyper and energetic
anymore, she explained. And the pain makes me tired, too.
That s okay, Leah said. I have some things to do.
Marian had handed her a list of the tests. In her hyper-organized
way, she had put them in order of importance. Tests that should be
done together were grouped together. She would have to rethink her
process of hiding money on the books in order to move it off the
books. Will had cleverly traced those transactions. She needed to do a
better job of hiding her tracks.
These things took time.
Crimes of the Heart 139
Chapter 13
A neon-green eviction notice greeted Leah. Like she had with the
others, she tore it down, balled it up and shoved it in the back of the
drawer next to the refrigerator. She was growing quite a rainbow back
there.
She made a cup of tea and flopped onto the sofa, unable to
summon enough energy to move. Sometime during the evening, she
fell asleep. She woke to the sun streaming through the drapes she had
not closed.
It took Leah a long time to convince herself to stand up. She
lumbered to the bathroom, her shoulder and back spasming painfully
in protest to spending the night on the couch. She showered and
changed the bandage over her stitches. How long was she supposed to
keep it on? Vaguely, she recalled that she had a follow-up
appointment today. She couldn t remember the name of the doctor or
where the office was located. Will had made the appointment for her.
Leah misjudged her bus route and arrived at work half an hour
early. She cleaned out her emails and prepared for the Monday
morning meeting. Her colleagues welcomed her back heartily. Anne
had explained the details of the accident, so there weren t many
questions on that front.
Anne was the most surprised to see Leah. She cornered her after
the meeting. You ve avoided my phone calls. You look like hell.
Will is nowhere to be found. What happened between you two?
I ended it. Leah tried to turn away, but Anne caught her arm.
Leah.
140 Debora Ryan
Annie, Leah pleaded. I d rather not talk about it. Not here, not
now. Too close to the surface, tears would spill if she had to talk
about it, especially to Anne.
Anne s eyes filled with sympathy tears. Oh, Lee-Lee, I m so
sorry. I ll take you to see Cecelia today. You can tell me everything
then. Reluctantly, Anne left Leah alone and went to her office to
work.
Leah left word with her assistant Eliza that she didn t want to be
disturbed unless it was an emergency. Eliza smiled brightly and
assured Leah no one would get past her. You know me, she joked.
I strike fear into the hearts of all.
Leah laughed and closed the door to her office. Eliza was one of
the kindest, gentlest people she knew. However, once riled, she was a
shrewd, formidable woman. Leah was glad she got along with Eliza.
That would be one powerful enemy she didn t need.
The mound of work on her desk quickly swallowed the morning.
She had completed most of it before she could identify which
accounts might be the most likely targets. The phone rang suddenly,
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