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I can t say who struck who first. In one minute they faced off; in the next, men were shoving and
pushing. I think a few people tried to get between them and break it up, but Josh and Rob went after each
other like lifelong enemies. Someone had the presence of mind to pull me out of the way, and it took four
men in security uniforms to pull them off each other.
Inevitably, we were escorted out of the stadium and asked not to return.
The side of Josh s face started to turn colors during our train ride, but it couldn t come close to the red
filling my vision whenever I looked at him. I should have been concerned about his welfare, whether he d
66 www.samhainpublishing.com
Keeping Pace
received any concussive wounds or whatnot during the tussle, but that empathy wasn t there. I ve never
been so embarrassed in my entire life, I said, my lip curling with disgust.
I leave for five minutes and come back to find you with some other guy? he replied hotly. Fuck
that.
I was not with some other guy. I was there with you. You wanted this date. You.
Yeah, I get it Regina. Today was all about me. He snorted.
What s that supposed to mean?
He shoved a finger in my face. You didn t want to be there. I tried to make this fun, and you sat there
all stony showing everyone how much you hated it.
Whoa. I did not hate it.
But you sure as hell didn t like it, did you? His gaze bore into mine. I m plenty good enough to
fuck but nowhere good enough to be seen in public with.
Whoa, wait a minute, mister. My idea of a date is not a baseball game, but because you invited me, I
wanted this. So look at what you decided would be a good time. Would you want to be seen with someone
in your state? Our ages have nothing to do with it.
Whatever. This is bullshit.
This was not the Josh I knew. This drunk person next to me had dropped the f-bomb twice in under
five minutes. My Josh was even-keeled and too mature for his own good. This person was hateful and
belligerent and not someone I wanted to be around for another minute.
As much as I wanted to engage his uncharacteristic behavior, no good would come of it. All I wanted
to do was get home and let Josh sleep it off. When I felt less like committing a random act of violence, and
he was sober, we could continue. Fortunately, the train pulled into our stop. Give me your keys, please.
Let s just get home.
The ride back was nothing like the way to the game. Inside the SUV felt hot, the air around us stifling.
The air-conditioning couldn t cool us down to normal temperatures. Forty-five minutes stretched into forty-
five years.
I parked in front of the Smith s house, where I couldn t turn the engine off fast enough to leave and go
inside my own home. I felt dizzy and nauseous, wondering if perhaps I d endured a little too much sun. My
shoulders were red, and my face still blazed. Whether from the heat of the day or prompted by my lover
remained to be seen.
Dropping his keys in his lap, I said, Go inside, Josh. Sleep it off.
There s nothing to sleep off. It ll still be the same when I wake up.
What? I sighed, fatigued. What will still be the same?
I ll still have to fight you to go anywhere. I ll always take a backseat to any man your age who
shows any interest in you. I ll never be old enough for you.
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Dee Carney
The image of Lou s face popped into my mind, and I shoved it aside. That s not true.
Of course it s true. Josh sounded tired now. He tilted his head back, leaning it against the headrest,
his eyes closed. You want my cock, Regina, but you sure as hell don t want me. I m done fighting you on
it.
I was outraged by his accusation, which was untrue. Absolutely untrue. It hurt me to hear those words,
and the pain from my heart made me gasp. Tears stung the backs of my eyes, and I swallowed the moisture
down, not permitting a single drop to fall.
In that moment, all I could think about was hurting him back. But if it was a child s game he wanted
to play and that was how I saw this argument then I would not sink to his level.
I propped the door open and set one foot outside. Before rising, I turned to him and said, You think
you re going to hurt me with ugly words? You re not. And here s a piece of advice for you, Joshua. My
voice hardened into steel. Grow up.
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Chapter Twelve
We didn t speak to each other for the rest of the weekend. I was still humiliated by Josh s behavior
which had caused us to be thrown out of the stadium, so that worked out just fine by me. I missed him like
hell, but I wouldn t let a little lack of companionship weaken my resolve. He owed me an apology, and I
wouldn t settle for less.
By Monday morning, I was running on fumes as far as sleep went. As before, Josh s absence wreaked
havoc on my ability to rest comfortably in the night. Even the nap I tried to take on Sunday had been
restless. No one had to tell me that my fatigue made me cranky. I felt it through my toes.
Good morning, Linda.
She looked up from her task, her eyes narrowing the moment she started studying me. You okay,
Reg?
Just tired. Do me a favor nothing that doesn t absolutely need my attention makes its way onto my
desk today, all right?
Perhaps my choice of a yellow cowl neckline shirt and gray pinstripe slacks didn t bring out the best
in my appearance, because she kept looking at me like I d grown two heads. Sure thing, boss lady. But
you re sure you re okay?
I plastered on a smile. I ll be fine.
Regina& She hesitated, and that made me face her again. You re not going to like your email.
My stomach plummeted. Instead of questioning her, I hurried inside, hit the power button to my
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