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Tech and learn the business and one day earn the right to take over.
To earn it. Kurt laughed bitterly, his eyes flashed at her to see if she
understood. That was Collin. He meant it. He didn t want anything given to
him. He wanted to work and deserve everything he got. He wasn t a spoiled rich
kid. And I took advantage of that! I killed him! Don t you see? It was me who
suggested he join the Service! It was me all along, and now now he s dead!
He made the same strange noise again, an agonizing moan that instead of
growing louder was somehow strangled into a low gurgle, until finally he was
silent. Kurt drew long deep breaths of air, as if he d just finished a run.
I m sorry, he said in a hushed voice, holding her close to him again.
Jill held him back. After a time, she whispered, I m scared Kurt. I don t
know what s happening, but I m scared.
CHAPTER 12
Jill never went back to sleep. Kurt passed out in her arms, his body s
temperature finally climbing to equal her own. When his breathing was deep and
comfortable, she slipped out of bed and dressed for a workout. She d always
been an early riser. As a young girl she was on a swim team, and their
practices started before school in the dark hours of the day. But even on
weekends, even after a long night, she typically rose before the sun. And,
maybe because of her swimming past, she liked to get her workout in then as
well.
One of the great pleasures Jill had when they came to Skaneateles was to ride
her bike. She liked to ride around the lake even though it took nearly three
hours. With Kurt sleeping soundly and having just dropped off, she knew she
didn t even have to hurry. She stretched for ten minutes in the darkness of
the broad circular driveway. When she was limber, she laced up her shoes,
strapped on her helmet, and set off up the long drive to begin her journey. By
the time she made the climb through the woods and reached Route 41A, her legs
were burning. She turned south in the dark and set off at a breakneck pace.
After the burning had subsided and her endorphins had kicked in, she began to
think. In addition to trying to maintain a permanent size six, this was why
she loved to ride or run or swim as much as she did. During a long workout,
her mind achieved total clarity.
And so she couldn t keep from analyzing what had happened over the past
seventy-two hours, turning the events over unhurriedly in her mind. She
thought about Collin. It was hard to believe he was really gone. She couldn t
even imagine the pain Kurt and Gracie must feel. She knew how badly she
herself felt, and she hadn t even known him that long. But in that short time,
Jill knew he was special. In fact, he had made her feel welcome from the
beginning.
To introduce Jill to his son, Kurt had planned a weekend at Skaneateles. He
had flown Collin and his girlfriend up from Washington. The four of them took
a tour of the nearby wine country in the middle of the day on Saturday and
then returned to the house for a late afternoon swim. When Kurt swam out to
the diving raft, Collin s girlfriend had excused herself to use the bathroom
and Jill found herself alone for the first time with Collin.
You re different, Collin had told her without warning.
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Jill had looked at Kurt s son, then out to Kurt who was swimming steadily
toward the raft. A half-finished bottle of wine stood on the small
wrought-iron table between them and a large umbrella protected them from the
glaring sun.
Thank you, I guess, she d said. Up to that point she had been uneasy with
Collin, not because of anything he said or did, but simply because his eyes
were the same eyes as the woman whose picture was everywhere throughout Kurt s
home and office.
You re welcome, Collin had said with an easy smile. It s a compliment. He s
never acted this way before. You should know that, and I want you to know that
I m glad. I m really glad . . .
Jill could remember clearly the endearing congenial look on his face at that
moment and she felt tears well in her eyes. A minivan raced by her and
distracted her until it disappeared over the next ridge. Then her mind
returned to Collin.
When someone like him died young, the sense of injustice was wrenching. But as
much as she had loved Collin for himself, she cared for him even more because
of how much he meant to Kurt. And now the pain of his death was exacerbated by
her empathy for Kurt and even for Gracie. The mask of anguish that had affixed
itself on the older woman s face was so pitiful it made Jill wince just to
think about it.
But, while she thought she understood the intensity of emotions Kurt was
feeling, she meant what she d said. She was scared. Kurt had always been a
rational person. That was one of the things she loved about him. You always
knew what you had with Kurt. He was strong, and sometimes stubborn, but never
mercurial, never unpredictable. That had somehow changed in the last three
days, and she was afraid that it went beyond just mourning for his dead son.
There was a deadly glint in his eye that Jill feared went beyond simply
bringing his son s killers to justice.
Her attention was suddenly drawn to the opposite side of the lake. She had
emerged from a deep dip in the road and mounted a high hill that provided a
view that actually made her forget her contemplation. The eastern sky had
begun to glow in a crimson wash that extended from one end of the lake to the
other. The low ceiling of purple clouds hovered just above the fiery horizon
in a dramatic, brooding mass.
The angry blood-red sky somehow filled Jill with foreboding. Kurt had told her
he wanted to expose Collin s killers. But was it possible that he was going to
do more than that? Yes, it was possible. She had never seen him respond in a
violent way to anything. Kurt always kept his composure. Even in the most
contentious meetings, he simply stared at his opponents with an enviable
serenity. But that meant nothing. He was a deeply passionate man, and if he
believed that someone had killed the only child he had, it wasn t hard to
imagine him wanting them dead.
Jill checked herself. She was thinking too much.
You re too smart for your own good, her father used to complain. Sometimes
a person can be so smart, they re stupid.
Her father hadn t meant what he said to sound as scathing as it might to
someone who didn t know him. But he was a relatively simple man, not in his
intellect, but in his way of life. He ran a bakery in Merrick on Long Island.
Jill s parents had a tiny house near the train tracks not far from the town s
center. Her father was an immigrant from Hungary, and despite having come to
America when he was a young boy, he revered many of the old country s
chauvinistic ways. Jill knew other girls whose fathers were also
first-generation Americans, but who encouraged their daughters to excel in
school.
The boys don t want a girl to be smarter than they are, her father would
grumble. His life s ambition had been to have her brother grow up to run the
bakery, and her to marry a rich Jewish boy like Ivan Mendelson, a regular
customer whose parents owned a large kosher chicken-processing plant.
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